Black, No Sugar - A Change of Heart

Is this really what I want to do?

Ask me this time last year and I'd be desperate to start college. Ask me a year in and I don't want to go back...

This time last year I'd just found out I'd been accepted into the college I wanted to go to and the course that would hopefully give with the skills to have the dream job that I thought I wanted. Now? I've completely changed my mind and I'm dreading going back.
Don't get me wrong, I love the course and the people I've met on it but I just feel like it's not for me. The opportunities I can get from my Textiles course is pretty much endless but then things started to get real... The word Uni was starting to get thrown around more than I was comfortable with, I had to begin making decisions that could potentially change everything for the rest of my life. Then this lead to me thinking do I really want to be doing something that only interests me for the rest of my life.
I've always been the type of person to have everything completely planned out from start to finish; college, love, marriage, family and just even my day to day life. I love the idea of being organised and knowing exactly what I'm doing and at what time so when I started to think more about how this college course isn't for me the more my organised, planned out life began to go down the drain.
The thought of uni was eating me alive and the more I thought about it I realised I wanted to do something that I not only loved but I was passionate about for a living and textiles just isn't that. I want to do makeup, be in the stylist industry. I'm forever looking up to people like Lou Teesdale, Lottie Tomlinson, Hrush Achemyan and Charlotte Tilbury. The idea of working with different people and working my way up the ladder until I'm hopefully working with the next big actors or touring with the biggest artists is a lot more appealing than making garments or trying to sell my prints to big designers.
For now, my action plan is to go back to college with an open mind and try to get the best mark possible to get the UCAS points I need. Whilst I'm doing that I'm going to also try and focus on my blog and once college is finished this will hopefully help me to peruse a career in the makeup/ stylist industry whether that be getting an apprenticeship, doing makeup classes or have my own little business doing prom makeup and stuff.
I'm sorry for the length of this long, long post which is probably boring for some people but I just needed to get this off my chest and hope that my rambling helps someone that could possibly be going through the same sort of thing. I have recently watch Sophie Shohets video on wealth and success, this has literally flicked a switch and make me get my arse in gear.

Speak soon,
Niamh xx
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